Pieces of Me

There are definite certainties in life. For example, when fall arrives, puzzles come out of our dusty closets. At least, this is how it works for me.

I love puzzles. Most of the time, I don’t really know why. Puzzles do weird things to me. To name a few oddities: I sing when I puzzle. I also enjoy talking to the pieces, asking them to reveal to to me where they are hiding amongst the other pieces.

On the flip side, puzzles make me upset when I can’t find the piece I am looking for. If I stare at the pieces for too long, I get double vision. And, on top of all this, I realize that even though puzzles do not come with directions, I have made up my own.

My puzzle rules seem simple but they are deeply rooted in family tradition with a few creative twists of my own.

Here are the rules if you ever want to “puzzle” with me:

1. Look at the box in the beginning. Never look at the box once you have dumped the pieces out on the table because that’s cheating and your desperate if you look.

2. Flip all the pieces over before you start puzzling. Cheaters usually like to start puzzling before everyone else begins, so they can look cool. Watch out for these people, they are only out for themselves.

3. Start with the edges because these are the easiest to put together. For new puzzlers, let them enjoy doing the edge because it will make them feel good about themselves.

4.Rearrange the pieces by color scheme as this helps to find them better. Again, always watch your back because an idiot puzzler may make the awful mistake of bumping some of the pieces onto the floor. Puzzle bumpers are never good. Scowl at these folk.

5. If you have to hover over another puzzler be sure to breath deeply into their ear as this is never annoying.

6. If your success ratio is down, meaning you have not put a piece together for over 15 minutes..step away from the puzzle and proceed to walk around the puzzle table and survey the scene. See what others are up to.

7. When you are successful and put two pieces together, make it known. Loudly tap on the properly placed puzzle piece so others can note how wonderful you are. Smile at your fellow puzzlers and laugh if you want to.

8. Never hide puzzle pieces. If you even think of doing this, never, ever, ever, puzzle with me. You are evil.

9. Stay up late at night until you have reached your puzzle goal, what ever that may be. Never leave the puzzle until you have reached your personal best for the day.

10. Never leave your fellow puzzler, to puzzle by themselves. This is rude and puzzling is all about sharing the moment with your friends. Bonding is key.

11. When you hit the final stretch, go all out. Get really crazy. Sing really loud. Make jokes and just finish the puzzle. Once you are done, celebrate! Give your friends high-fives. Hugs are good too. Tell your friend/s that you made it. You have arrived. You are the coolest puzzlers in the world.

12. Leave the puzzle out for a couple days so you can admire your hard work.
If you eventually spill food on the puzzle (because it is usually on the coffee table) this means its time to put break it up and put it away.

13. Get out another puzzle...this time go for a Christmas theme to celebrate the upcoming season and repeat steps 1-13.

So, there you have it. Are these rules simple or have I just fallen to pieces?